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60 Plus: Spending time with a person who has dementia
by Janis Hall | August 19,2015
My grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease for many years. Conversation became difficult as the disease grew worse, so I wanted to find activities that we could enjoy together.
Later I visited the home of a new friend, and was introduced to two men relaxing on her porch. They were her husband, who has dementia, and a caregiver who helps out sometimes. “We’re cloud-watching,” they explained. “See, there’s one that looks like a turtle.”
How wonderful, I thought. Not only is it pleasant and stress-reducing to watch puffy clouds sail by on a summer day, but it’s a way to share and talk in the moment. No matter that he can’t recall names and sometimes doesn’t recognize his relatives. It’s an inclusive activity that a person with Alzheimer’s or other dementia can enjoy. And the caregiver or friend may enjoy it with them.
But what if it’s not a puffy-white-cloud sort of day? Well, how about blowing bubbles or feeding the birds and watching them?
Below are more ideas for inclusive activities that a person with dementia and their family, friends, or other caregivers might enjoy together. The ideas should be adapted according to whether the dementia is mild or severe. Some of these suggestions came from the Alzheimer’s Association www.alz.org.
Music. Listening to music that they recognize and love can be surprisingly therapeutic for people with dementia. A recent film, “Alive Inside,” illustrates the possibilities. If the elder or caregiver feels like moving to the music, clapping, or drumming, so much the better.
Nature. Trees, fields, flowers and birds are soothing for many of us. Go out for a walk or wheelchair stroll, or pick blueberries, or rake some leaves together. If walking is difficult, go for a drive on back roads. Park beside a river or lake with the windows down. Feed the ducks. Or bring nature indoors: Arrange flowers or make decorations with autumn leaves or pinecones.
Animals. Spending time with a pet can lower stress and improve some measures of health. If there are no pets in the family, a visit to a petting farm could be a wonderful tonic for some elders. There are also organizations that provide therapeutic interactions with animals. Perhaps the most well-known of these is Pet Partners.
Food. Perhaps you and the elder would enjoy a picnic lunch. Simple tasks in the kitchen may also be rewarding for the person with dementia. Can they make peanut butter sandwiches for the picnic? Try something fun and easy: make popcorn, or decorate cookies with icing. (If you’re short on time, just buy cookies and icing at the store. This should be low-stress for the caregiver, so don’t try to be an overachiever.)
You may be able to think of other activities. Just keep in mind the lifelong interests and skills of the person with dementia as well as their abilities and preferences in current daily life.
Everyone is different. For example, some sports lovers with dementia will still enjoy watching a game, but others may be put off by the noise and action. A person who played the piano for years may still be able to play some easy songs.
Familiar games may fit the bill: dominoes, horseshoes, jigsaw puzzles, Jenga or hangman, for example.
Enjoying life doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. Sometimes it’s the little things, especially when you’re with someone who is ill. Just slowing down and doing something playful or relaxing is good for everyone’s well-being.
This week’s 60-plus column was written by Janis Hall. 60 Plus is a collaboration between Senior Solutions of southeastern Vermont and the Southwestern Vermont Council on Aging. Both can be reached by calling the Senior HelpLine at 800-642-5119.